I try not to judge.
I try to cut parents some slack.
But I’m gonna ask again, what’s up with baby names these days?
Yes, you’ve heard me complain about this before, and I hate to rehash old issues. But indulge me here for a minute, if you will. You’ll see what I’m getting at.
Some of you may recall my wondering why celebrities are assigning their children misnomers like Exton Elias, Moxie Crimefighter and Pilot Inspektor, but in the past I’ve also asked why we’ve nearly abandoned the tradition—millennia in the making—of assigning “Christian names” to our newly hatched Madison’s and Mackenzie’s.
I’ve asked why every Tom, Dick, and Harry is now named Taylor, Devon, or Yale.
I’ve asked about names with oblique, more often than not overt, allusions to the aristocrats of academia.
I’ve shared that my own nephew is named “Rhodes”—God bless his little, “high-IQ-ed” heart. I know his grandfather is a professor, and his aunt, yours truly, spent WAY too many years not making NEARLY enough in academia—(thus, the high dollar move to blogging)—but that’s a lot of pressure on a little guy! How’s that for a “you-better-make-the-grade-or-else” kick-in-the-ass Pampers?
But—PLEASE!
Enough is enough!
So, what’s next, you might ask? Well, I’ll tell you what’s trending–literally.
And you can accuse me of over-reacting, if you will.
But I say, along with my new friends over at the Huffington Post, that the baby name situation has taken trendy one step too far, when just this week, we have a mother announcing proudly on Facebook the birth of her daughter (I kid you not) “Hashtag.”
Image via Awkwardmessages.com and the Huffington Post–
Now editors, again at the Huffington Post, have asked the correct questions. Among a number of other things, they’ve wondered:
- Why, if they love Twitter so much, the parents announced their baby’s birth on Facebook.
- Whether the child would only be allowed to speak in 140 character phrases.
- What the little girl’s nickname would be–Hash, Tag, or simply #.
cartoon via http://www.makeuseof.com
So, my friends, what questions do you have for these new and insanely trend-conscious parents? What’s the strangest baby name you’ve heard recently?
Kathryn M. McCullough 
I cringed at the announcement of Hashtag’s naming. It’s not even a pretty name. Not that all girls need pretty names (I love it when girls have boy names) but if you are going to be different why something so ugly sounding? Its like the parents want her to grow up bullied.
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Ha, hadn’t even thought of the ugly part. You have to pronounce it with a kind of gutteral snarl. Poor kid, right? Doesn’t bode well for her future.
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I always wonder what the kids are going to think about their parents when they realize they’ve been given such a strange name.
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Isn’t that the truth! You gotta question the sanity of parents like this, don’t you? Calls for an intervention on the part of Child Protective Services.
Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment. Great to hear from you this morning. Please come back soon!
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You’re welcome. Enjoy your morning!
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🙂
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A friend of mine was discussing this topic with a stranger at a party when she told him her last name was Day and she named her kids Stormy and Sunny. Oops
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Okay, David, are these parents sane? I mean seriously–this is child they’re dealing with. My mother had a childhood friend named “Rose” who married a man whose last name was “Bush.” At least that was her choice. At any rate, poor kids–Stormy and Sunny Day Jeez!
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I’m not going to lie. I was a little heartbroken when Tom nixed my plan to change his favorite potential girl name, Bridget, to the blog-loving Widget. Widget Dot Young and maybe just call her Com. In retrospect maybe this is a good thing 🙂
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Tori–only you could come up with this! That is the funniest damn thing I have heard in ages! At ;east “Widget” is kind of cute.
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Oh my gosh! And this goes hand-in-hand with “Siri,” the “digital assistant” on my iPhone 5. She kept spelling my name Lori instead of Laurie, so I asked her to spell it “Laurie.” Her immediate and sassy response was to display a graph showing me that “Lori” was ever more popular in the over 48 crowd, and suggested that perhaps I should change the spelling of my name!
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I swear, this sounds like something out of science fiction. I think Siri may take reality a bit too far. However, if you’re gonna have a digital assistant, at least she could get your name right!
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I’ve always promoted our French heritage in naming. Problem is, I’m the only one in the family who seems to care. Most recently, I resorted to paying my daughter-in-law a substantial amount to add the Creole moniker to my 7th grandchild’s name and thats OK, we each got what we wanted. HIs birth certificate reads: Michael Stephen RemyPerot Hoog….and, when his mother is especially displeased with his behavior, she uses the WHOLE name quite effectively.
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Now THAT’S a mouthful! So what did that cost? I suppose now you’re paying with premature admission to old age. Happy birthday, my friend. 69 rocks!
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Oh Kathy I saw that announcement for hashtag..poor wee thing. Some of the names just grate a bit on the nerves like Apple, Pax, Moon…the good news is that someday those children can choose to use nicknames! Although my Dad was in danger of being called Abraham Tobias in 1924 which was fine for the times but not so much later.
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Yes, the nickname option always exists. However, it’s usually others who assign people nicknames, I’m afraid. Maybe legal name change is an option, as well. Great to hear from you, Chris.
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Well, neither of my children got “normal” names (Orion and Karina) so I don’t know if I can talk. On the other hand my Dad found Karina because he was scared I’d name her Cassiopeia (just a little unwieldy don’t you think?) There is such a thing as too far over the top. Hashtag definitely goes there.
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I don’t thing there’s a thing out of the ordinary with Karina. It’s actually gorgeous. Orion is less common but still stellar! LOL Sorry–couldn’t help myself. Hugs to you, Lisa.
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I had neighbours who stuck with traditional names but still managed to be a bit ridiculous. The parents, Dave and April, named their first two girls May and June. Their third daughter was spared and named Emma. I wonder, however, if she will grow up relieved or feeling a bit left out.
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Oh, dear, that is a bit strange. None of those names is strange by itself, but taken in combination, it’s a bit much. Poor kids. At least they didn’t name their kid “Calendar.” I bet Emma’s relieved. Great to hear from you, Kirsten.
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It would appear that it is quite fortunate that the legal system permits the changing of ones name.
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Gosh, Charlie, isn’t that the truth! Too bad kids don’t have the right to change their names before elementary school, however.
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I don’t feel bad for the kids… It’s kinda funny from the outside looking in… The parents will have hell to pay in 14 years… Teens can be cruel…
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That’s the point, my friend. Funny from the outside looking in. But from the inside? Poor kid. Teens can be SSSOOOOOO cruel!
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I went to school with a woman named GayeAnne…last name Greene. We always thought it was a bit close to gangrene.
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Oh, no, that’s tooooooo funny! Bet the parents never thought of that. Did she get teased?
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One of the reasons I likely did not have kids is the pressure of naming a person who pops out as a crying blob. To me, it would take time to figure out who that person was, and it would be unacceptable to call it “It” for very long……….
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You’re right. It is a lot of responsibility–and responsibility these parents clearly didn’t take seriously enough. Poor kid. Great to hear from you Andra!
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I read about this the other day and it is already drafted for my Sunday edition. We need to be like Germany…the courts need to decide if the child’s name will get their asses kicked enough and forbid the parents from naming the child that. I’m sure the kid will be called Hash, and I’m sure little Hash will be calling his parents f***ing a-holes his entire life.
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How funny that you’ve already included it. Actually, when I wrote this I thought of your Sunday post and that this would be perfect. However, parents may be more like “hash-holes.” LOL
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Is this for real? I mean, it isn’t a HUGE hoax or anything?
If not, then I’m going to put it down to the spelling skills of both parents (and friends, by the looks of things) and pretend that they are actually calling their daughter “Ashleigh”…
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Yeah, the spelling was strange. I wondered about it being a hoax, as well. However, I consider the Huffington Post to be a fairly serious news source–and suspected they wouldn’t publish the piece, if they didn’t consider it legitimate.
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I also wondered whether it was a hoax. I cannot imagine someone seriously giving their daughter such a silly stupid name but then worse names have been given as you pointed out in your article: Moxie Crimefighter and Pilot Inspektor! Sheesh!
I’d love to know what makes people chose those strange names, and would love to ask someone like Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter “Apple” what she thinks of her name…
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The thing that’s so funny, is that now a name like Apple is seeming pretty tame compared to these others. Like you, I wish I understood the motivation of these parents. Strange world, isn’t it?
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I get the Twitter reference (though I don’t “get” the name … yes, insane!), but it begs the question: has anyone named their child after punctuation? Colon = so wrong. Period = so wrong, again. First name Question, middle name Mark = questionable. Ellipsis = for when parents want to omit a middle name? Or maybe the first name could be Dot-Dot-Dot. Apostrophe = for possessive parents? I’m sorry. I just can’t help myself. I’ll stop now.
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Oh, this is a fabulous question! Truly, I wonder too, now that you mention it. Maybe we need to do a bit of research to find out. It would be hilarious, if it weren’t for some poor kid ending up with a name like “Comma.” Imagine?!
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I went to elementary school with a Christopher Columbus. No kidding.
I mean, they really couldn’t think of any other first name? Nothing at all sprang to mind?
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Okay, Jackie, your comment gave me a good laugh! And I needed one this evening. Thank you, my friend! Seriously–nothing else came to mind?! LOL
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Baby names go along to show how strange people really are! I can’t imagine naming my kid hash tag! That is plain old cruel. Oh well got to have a sense of humor it the oddities of the human race!
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Oh, you are SOOOOOO right! We have to laugh. If we don’t laugh, we might cry. I just hope poor Hashtag isn’t in tears a few years from now. Gotta wonder what the parents were thinking. Oh, yeah—-they weren’t thinking, right? LOL
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@Kathy McCullough #Hashtag is a stupid name…
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@Adam #Hashtag’s parents are idiots! LOL LOVED your comment!
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Hashtag???? Is that the name of that symbol? I thought it was the symbol for ‘number’. And when I hear “hashtag” I think of potatoes or drugs. Neither of which I would want to label my child with. All that aside, she is a beautiful baby. I hope she grows up and makes the name as beautiful as she is.
I just don’t know what we are thinking…..though I was going to name my first child Crystal Star. True.
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Now I’m afraid, I’m not the one to answer that, as I’ve always wondered the same thing. But don’t tell anyone, okay? I need to maitain the illusion of knowing what I’m talking about! LOL In light of some of these others, Crystal Star is sounding pretty tame.
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I had big plans for Crystal Star! I was going to collect crystal stars all her life. But since I didn’t name her that, there was no point….
I’ve never been on? Had? Used? Twitter. So I’m not sure what hashtag is all about. YOU are an expert in my opinion. 🙂
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I’m no expert. I’ve just been tweeting for a couple of weeks, cause I feared it was all beyond me. It still is; I’m just pretending otherwise. LOL
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You’re secret is safe with me. Shhhhhhhh. 😉
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🙂
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Hashtag’s parents should have just changed their names to Mr. & Mrs. Media-hound.
I do have a child’s name story that I like a lot. In January 1971, Grace Slick of the Jefferson Airplane, and later, the Jefferson Starship, gave birth to her daughter. I’ll let Wikipedia continue with the rest of the story:
“During her hospital stay after the baby’s birth, Slick sarcastically told one of the attending nurses (whom Grace found annoyingly sanctimonious) that she intended to name the child “god”, with a lowercase “g”, as she “wished for the child to be humble”. The nurse took Slick seriously, and her reports of the incident caused both a minor stir and the birth of a rock-and-roll urban legend.”
Slick named her daughter China Wing Kantner; the Airplane’s guitarist, Paul Kantner, was the dad. I think that by today’s standards that’s a pretty tasteful name for a daughter of a rock star and a helluva lot better than Hashtag.
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Oh, gotta love ya, my friend! Only you would know this. No, I take that back. It’s also the kind of thing Sara would know. You’re right. China sounds so normal compared to some of these others. But the god-thing is a hoot!
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Hash Tag? Exton, Moxie? WTF is going on? Makes your name and mine sound so ordinary and passe. When naming my own kids, I picked names from the Old Testament. I’m thinking I should’ve used a biology book and named my kids, Amoeba and Carbohydrate. What was I thinking?? 😉
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OMG, Monica, LOVE your comment! Can you imagine a child named “Carbohydrate?” That’s hilarious–absolutely hilarious! We do have such average names, don’t we? Guess I should be glad not to have been named “Mafia,” right? LOL
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OMG, do not tempt me. I feel compelled to start calling you that. Mafia, dear, have you had a nice day? 😉
Mafia, I so look forward to your next post!
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I know, Monica. Pretty bad, isn’t it? LOL
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Some people I know have started combining their names for a completely new name. Some work, some really don’t. Leila seems to be really popular at the moment. It seems that people are more adventurous with girl names than boys like I love Jack for a boy but for a girl I love Esmée or Romany.
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I have to agree with you about a name like Jack. Sounds so solid and dependable, doesn’t it? However, I must admit to never having heard the name “Esmee.” Sounds lovely, though.
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Hash Tag reminds me of Vash-Tie. Wasn’t that a character in a book or old movie…. Mind mind is boggled by that throw-away remark “thus, the high dollar move to blogging.”
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Glad you like the “high dollar move to blogging” comment. I thought the sarcasm there was pretty good. You’re the only one who seems to have noticed. LOL Thank you, you’ve made my day.
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I’m sure I’ve heard other strange names recently, but honestly, I’m still stuck at “Hashtag.”
I’d like to say something articulate. Really I would. But . . .
Hashtag? Oy.
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The problem is that once you hear a name like that, you’re pretty much left speechless, right? I mean, what is one supposed to day in response to that? Poor kid!
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I’m still wondering why # is equivalent to “hashtag” in the first place. It’s a pound symbol, dang it! The same way that @ used to mean “around” instead of “at.”
Don’t even get me started on actual baby names…
(Though honestly, I’m glad to see Dick bite the dust).
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Thank you for this comment, Mark. My friend Colleen asked the same thing. I’ve wondered about that as well, but figured maybe it was just me being tech-ignorant again. Thank God, I’m not alone! Dick bit the dust? Really? LOL
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Celebrities can get away with the weird names. The rest of us just look like idiots when we get creative with our kids’ names.
I’m still trying to figure out why Jessica Simpson named her baby GIRL Maxwell Drew.
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Okay, let me see if I understand. She named her girl “Maxwell Drew” or named her baby “GIRL Maxwell Drew?” I assume you mean the former. But when I first read the comment I thought–OMG, she named her daughter “Girl!” I’m an idiot, what can I say? LOL
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That was my fault, LOL. Let me try again… She named her baby girl, Maxwell Drew.
Makes more sense now, doesn’t it?
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I suspected that’s what you were saying; it was just the first time I read it quickly, I thought that her name was “Girl.” What can I say? I’m an idiot. Or maybe I’ve just begun to believe that any name is possible. Wonder which is worse? LOL “Hashtag” pushed me over the edge.
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I heard about little Hashtag, god rest her soul. Hope she doesn’t go through life like a “Boy named Sue”. When we named our baby girl Kiah our respective parents went silent for at least a half minute before they began to–reluctantly–accept it. Now they say she’s very much a Kiah.
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Yeah, the Hastag news is everywhere now. No one can believe it. Poor kid.
At least Kiah is a lovely name–especially in terms of sound–so musical. It’s hard to say and not enjoy the feel of it in your mouth. Does that make any sense?
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Well, I named my daughter Lulu to a lot of consternation on some folks’ part .. but I’ve loved the name (and now, so does she) — but I also think it’s important if you’re going to get creative with your kid’s name that you give him/her a middle name she can go to without too much fuss. Lulu’s middle name is Catherine — which she hates — BUT it did provide her with an alternative … and yeah, I hate Hashtag, too, of course. Because it’s an ugly word. xooxxo K —
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Betty, this is an excellent point! You need to write a parenting manual that explains that and send it to Hashtag’s parents! LOL Such sound advice.
And Lulu is lovely. It’s fun–cheerful–it makes me want to smile. Sorry to hear your daughter hates “Catherine.” I’m inclined to like it. Wonder why? LOL
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Some of the ridiculous names people give their children border on child abuse. Imagine having to explain your name for your whole life. Equally hideous are the made up spellings of traditional names, once again leading to a lifetime of having to slowly spell out some ratbag interpretation. I wonder if children could sue their parents for the misery caused.
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Okay, Debra, you also make an excellent point. This is exactly what I believe. I mean really–do parents not get it? Maybe this calls for an intervention from Child Protective Services. Any parent who names their kid “Hashtag” doesn’t have the sense to parent properly. So say I—-who has never been a parent. LOL I say it like I’m an authority on the matter. LOL But, good God, is this not a matter of common sense?
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That is HORRILBE. why would some idiot do this? IDIOTS.
DId you hear about the parents who named their son “Hitler.”
They should be fined or put in jail for that. Stupid Fools.
Xx
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No, I had not heard of “Hitler.” I swear, that should be criminal! I could not possibly agree with you more! That is sheer idiocy! Hugs to you, my dear!
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Hey! My comment was sucked into oblivion. Hmmm. Poor little Hashie.
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Wow, wonder where your comment went. I’ll check my spam. How dare anyone steal my Sista’s comment. LOL
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I wonder if, in a few years from now, the parents will ask, “What were we thinking?” Oh well, at least they won’t be the first thoughtless parents on the planet. I guess we live and learn. 🙂
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Yes, Marianne. Surely thesse parents will come to their senses. However, I’m afraid, I’m not holding my breath. How about you?
So great to hear from you, Marianne. Sorry to be so far behind on my blog reading. Think I’m gonna try to start over again fresh. Will visit you asap! Miss you!
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Well our generation gave our children idiotic names, Sunshine ring any bells? But this simply takes the cake.
My adoptive father handed me the list of names my mother had if they got the call and it was a girl. She was an idiot (I knew this all along but the list sealed the deal for me). Thankfully he nixed her list and gave me a normal name.
I wonder who thought Hashtag was a good idea? I wonder if she will grow up hating her parents?
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Glad you got a normal name, indeed. Gosh, would have been interesting to see that list. But I think you make an excellent point. And I think Hashtag WILL hate her parents. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, FOLKS! LOL
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Gads … and when will society go circle to bring back Bertha, Ethel, and Hazel.
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I wish I knew. I’m not a fan of any of those–but, gosh, they sure beat “Hashtag,” don’t they? LOL
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🙂
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Cute post, Kathryn! It seems like everyone’s so busy trying to be different that someone forgot the poor children who have to live with these names! Sheesh! What do they call it when you “box” someone in the ears? I can’t remember, but I know there’s a name for it…..anyhow, that just came to mind. lol Take care, dear friend. Hugs to Miss Sara. xoJulia
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Yeah, what the hell. Call a kid anything you like. Kind of scary, isn’t it? Wonder just how far we can push this thing. LOL Hugs to you, too, my dear!
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Hashtag– now that’s a scary name for a baby. I haven’t come across anything too ludicrous lately, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before I encounter an Internette or something. 🙂
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As you know , this is an issue that is very close to home for me at the moment. I am fighting an uphill battle to get the names I like on the birth certificate ! Although you might agree with Dave ! I love Marley ( or Marlee ) which is an English name . I used to love Lilly until everyone jumped on that bandwagon. I also like boys names for girls such as Bobbi and Jaime although if I got my way with Jaime it would be Jaime Lee ( as in Curtis – love that woman !! ). I like names that are slightly different but still mainstream enough that the poor girl wont be picked on but calling your kid Apple or Moondust is child abuse !! If she was to be a boy it would of been Thomas – I like strong , traditional names for boys ! Xx Kel
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Good grief. I disliked my name when I was a child, but I gotta tell ya, it’s far better than that! Poor Hashtag.
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I’ve never been crazy about my name either, but anything has to beat Hashtag, doesn’t it? Lord! Talk about child abuse! Okay, maybe not abuse, but not far from it either!
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The highlight of my daughters 5th grade graduation was when they called Indiana Jones to come and get his diploma!
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I can understand why that name would appeal to kids! Makes sense, doesn’t it? Thanks for your comment. Great to hear from you today!
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