Clearly I promised to begin blogging daily, but this has been the first day that I’ve come close to not fulfilling that commitment. I’m simply too tired to compose anything remotely meaningful, which is sad since today Barrack Obama was inaugurated the 44th president of the United States–a hugely important event in the history of our country I almost hate to comment on the significance of this day, as I’m afraid that anything I might say is already close to cliche. To elaborate on the importance of our nation’s first African American president is probably commentary I’m not qualified to make. Yet I can say that the event moved me–perhaps even deeply so–especially the president’s suggestion that we will extend a hand to those who raise their fist in anger against us. That seemed a terribly powerful image.
On another note, I might mention my intense irritability. I’m not sure exactly why or what’s wrong with me. I only know that almost anything has the potential to irritate me and indeed does. I feel like I need to escape into a bubble that will eliminate my contact with external stimuli–especially sounds–sneezing, snoring, barking, breathing. I also can’t tolerate disorder or dirt.
More than anything, however, I can’t tolerate uncertainty. And almost everything about our lives right now remains in limbo, especially since S. refuses to even check her email in case she has not heard from her potential employer. This seems utterly absurd, and it’s making me crazy. If we don’t know something definite soon, I’m afraid I may go stark raving mad. I might have to insist that she act soon, for the sake of my own sanity. I don’t deal well with not knowing. I don’t deal well with it at all.