Saturday night our friend Kathryn came to dinner. Sara cooked Pad Thai. There was salmon pate and wine, and an evening on our deck with a friend we dearly love. We had wanted to celebrate Kathryn’s recent milestone birthday—I won’t mention her exact age, just that she could pass for someone a good 2 decades younger.
But that’s not what matters here—not what matters most by any means. What’s more important is the fact of friendship, the fact that Sara’s worked with Kathryn in countless places around the world, and I’ve been with her in a good many locations myself. What matters most is this benefit, this blessing of friendship—one of the unexpected perks that comes with Sara’s work in disaster response. It makes things feel a little less disastrous. It normalizes.
Travel to exotic places is sometimes made a little less pleasant by the day to day reality of actually living in uncomfortable locations, places our pampered American upbringings have not prepared us for. But when it comes to folks we’ve worked with, there’s just no down side. Sure it feels good to know that Sara’s work improves the lives of others, but when one gets down to the nitty-gritty selfish reasons I benefit from this arrangement, it’s really all about the people.
Since I’m not the one actually doing the work, since I’m the one sometimes forced by circumstances to set aside my career as a writing teacher to be with Sara in the field, I’m especially grateful for the folks we meet along the way, the ones we live with, shop with, cook with, cry with.
I’ve gotten close to many of Sara’s colleagues, folks like Elizabeth and Minh, like Dee and Aileen, like Todd and Robin and Lesley and Jack. But Kathryn, well, Kathryn has not only been one of my personal favorites—Kathryn is leaving us today—going back to the US to take a job with another international aid organization.
And though this makes me sad—(sad for only selfish reasons, I might add)—it’s a great development for Kathryn herself, since she’ll be headquartered in the same city her daughter and grandson live in, the same city several other of our friends have also settled, friends Kathryn too has worked with in many places on the planet, from Thailand to Tanzania.
I already miss the year we shared with Kathryn in Vietnam—months living together in Hanoi, days shopping in the Old Quarter, mornings walking West Lake, a 30 hour train traveling the country south to north.
Here in Haiti she’ll be missed by many more than simply Sara and I—and our dogs, wagging, barking, licking kisses to” Auntie Kathryn,” whom they adore. Here she’s loved by both Haitians and expats alike, people who have come to Port-au-Prince to participate in the recovery—come from places as far away as Alaska or Alabama, India or Indonesia, Eastern Europe or Western Africa.
Kathryn is loving.
And accordingly—she is loved.
The bottom line is this—
When working far from family, far from the comforts and conveniences of home, we’re thankful for the exquisite blessing that is friendship—friends who comfort, friends who share our homes and become like family.
We’re grateful for the Kathryn’s among us—
— even when we say goodbye!
Friends truly become family when one shares life changing experience’s I guess. Gorgeous post.
Thanks so much–I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I wasn’t sure I had done this one justice–so I’m pleased it spoke to you! Thanks for reading!
It must be hard to be away from home and your family in the US for such long periods. Good to hear that you have a second family with you.
It isn’t always easy. But good friends surely help. I can’t wait to see my family over the holidays!
I can so relate, Kathryn. Friendships take on a different dimension when you’re far away from home. Lovely post, and a wonderful tribute to Kathryn.
Thanks so much. Glad you enjoyed it! Kathryn is a wonderful friend! Hope you have a lovely day in London!
Lovely post! It’s wonderful to have loving friends.
This is a beautiful tribute to your friend and, from my standpoint, to all of those friends we meet along the way who become family to us.
Thank you, Robin. I’m glad this post spoke to you– Isn’t it great to have friends who mean so much! Take care–
This week I had a misunderstanding with a dear friend and as the week went on i realized just how foolish it all was. Life’s too short I thought, and what do I really want from my dear friend anyway? Really, just her friendship – just as she is.
As I thought about this I realized it was just a miniscule display of all the unrest that exist in our world. And when we stop to think about what we really want from a friend, a church family, social groups, towns, cities, countries, nations, or the world. . . is just friendship. Just to get a long.
It’s simple, but anything more complicated only confuses the issue.
My prayers for Haiti – is that they find friendship amongst each other.
Wow–you say something really important here, Marlene–the wish for friendship among the Haitian people themselves! Great insight, my friend!
I always love to read the story about friendship, and your story make me inspired. Thanks for this great story 🙂
Freindship is one of life’s greatest rewards. It’s wonderful to know this post inspired you. I appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment. And I so hope you will come by again soon!