Something is very wrong with me today and I don’t know what it is or how to define it. I only know that I want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world–sleep–maybe read. I feel anxious. Actually more than anxious. I’m experiencing a sense of foreboding that comes close to terror every now and then.
S. asked me earlier what was bothering me, and I insisted nothing was amiss. But I was wrong, and S. saw it all before I did. She said I seemed spacey–out of it. And I do feel a bit dissociative.
I wonder if this could have anything to do with it being Super Bowl Sunday–a Super Bowl in which the Pittsburgh Steelers are competing, nonetheless. Does this relate to the dread I experienced as a child on days like this?