Writing Angst: Take Two


Still struggling to create, still struggling over all.  So, I’ll share another poem I wrote a while back.  Thank God I have this stuff to pass along on off days.   My apologies for this deviation from the normal fare.  I hope this gives you another sense of who I am as a writer.

 

Meditation

 Summers I plant petunias

                arrange them on porches

                and watch from front windows

 

The burrowing of cats

                                             kneading

                the almost gray

                of almost morning

 

The lawn is mowed

The hedges trimmed and

                                                still

                I am haunted

 

By the rose which is not a rose

By the rose which is not a rose

 

Silence

                      Breath

                                            Scent

 

                call it yellow

 

                                            elbow

                                            below

                                            itself

                                            sinking

 

                paying homage to palms

 

I do not know you

I do not know myself

 

We are in ruin among the apple seeds

 

 

15 thoughts on “Writing Angst: Take Two

  1. Kathy–
    a searing poem…
    and beautiful, haunting.

    but, about this angst…
    don’t worry.
    step away from the stats for a few days.
    step away from the connectedness.
    get a journal…and go do what you can…and be with yourself.
    This blogging thing, the community, the instant gratification of it…
    it’s like meth. I don’t say that lightly…I struggle with it…and then, on the days my soul needs quiet…I worry and rock back and forth (exaggerating only slightly) because I fear/want/need/desire/worry/hope and fear again that I won’t have anything, there will be no voice…

    My sister once said to me, sharing something they were teaching in her org’s drama classes, this phrase…the place from which we start, and something to say to yourself:
    “I am enough”

    I look forward to your posts–not because they are well written (which…they ARE)…not because they are informative (which they ARE), not because they bring light to places and things and people and hardships that I would have known nothing about (which they DO)…
    but because I know YOU from how you communicate, how I feel I know you…
    all that is not to make you feel more stressed about being in a silent place…
    but to encourage you that I like all of you…even the silent/angsty/worried Kathy.

    Let her have some quiet. Let her dance in the tropical winds…let her make a lovely meal for her love…let her sit in the silence…and accept that it is part of why, when she has the words to share…they are so powerful and uniquely Kathy.

    blessings
    jane

    Like

  2. I hate that you are feeling the writer’s funk right now. With that being said, I LOVE this poem. “paying homage to palms” is brilliant. You will find the words soon, and we will be right here cheering you on until you do 🙂

    Like

  3. How I have come to love your post about Haiti, about you, about Sara, about yourlife, and now your poem.
    I am not a writer, but from the little I have done, the more one panics from having nothing to write the more one locks the cells up.
    jane has given the best advise — “Let her have some quiet. Let her dance in the tropical winds…let her make a lovely meal for her love…let her sit in the silence…and accept that it is part of why, when she has the words to share…they are so powerful and uniquely Kathy.”
    Today is sure proph you still have it.
    Ann

    Like

  4. Beautiful words and powerful imagery. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    As for the angst, I always found it best to go do something different for a while. Have fun and just relax. 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s