Why Big Blue Madness Means No Basketball for Me


While University of Kentucky fans took to the streets of Lexington Saturday night rioting and burning otherwise perfectly good, if beer-stained, couches along the Avenue of Champions and chanting something about a Big Blue Nation defeating cross-state rivals Louisville Cardinals and perhaps even ruling the entire world, I sat at home in my recliner, declining the option of hauling the old Lazy Boy out onto 4th Street and setting it on fire.

Why, you ask?  Why this lack of action on my part?  Why my unwillingness to engage in civil disobedience for the sake of my alma mater, why this refusal to sacrifice my seat, complete with built-in foot rest and reclining capabilities, on the flaming altar that is the Big Blue Mania?

I could blame this regrettable inactivity on old age, of course, since I turned 50 this past week—osteoporosis and lack of muscle mass making the moving of family room furniture onto the streets impossible, not to mention not being able to remember where I stashed the matches.  But actually, it’s something else entirely.

You see, I’ve been advised by medical professionals and sports enthusiasts alike, that I should not watch basketball, not because it’s hard on my heart or elevates my aging blood pressure, but because it causes me to curse.

A lot.

My partner Sara says I swear in my sleep, but from what I can tell, it’s way worse when I watch Wildcat basketball.

And the irony in this is that I don’t like game.

At all.

Who wants to watch a bunch of ball-bouncing men running up and down a court, sweating and attempting to get said balls through hoops at either end of an otherwise perfectly good wood floor that been defaced with paint?  Who paints a floor like that?

Seriously.  What I wouldn’t do to have those very hard woods in my home on 4th Street!

Which is exactly where I cursed up a storm on Saturday night, watching the Cats take on the Cards in the first game of the Final Four.  It was a crazy, profanity-laced scene in our library in downtown Lexington.

But then maybe that tells you just how much of a basketball fan I am not.  I watched the game from a book-filled room with a Dr. Seuss dog draped around my neck.

Or, now that I think about it, maybe that does have something to do with old age or, for those of you who know my mental health history, what we could call dementia-induced, Big Blue Madness.

What do you think?  Did you watch the game on Saturday?

Note:  If you are new to my blog, you might like to know that I am writing a memoir and blogging about growing up in an organized crime family.  (The post you’ve just read is not part of that series.)  For a list of my  memoir posts, click here.  If you are interested in reading any of my protected posts, please email me at kownroom@yahoo.com  or let me know in the comments below, and I will gladly share the password with you.

60 thoughts on “Why Big Blue Madness Means No Basketball for Me

  1. Watched the game. I guess I have opted to cheer for Kentucky since my beloved Carolina is out of the running. I don’t curse but my blood pressure rises dramatically—especially when they make dumb mistakes!!! Seriously! Turnovers and bad passes drive me nuts!!! I am very glad you spared the LazyBoy—I can not imagine how that would have solved any of the problems of the world if you had given into that impulse!!!! Happy game watching, my friend!

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  2. This is why I don’t like living in the city. If my husband and I had the choice, we’d move to country where we couldn’t even see our neighbors, just acres of grass and trees. *sigh*

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    • Here’s the deal, V–I can’t stand basketball. I would generally rather be shot than watch a game–but something just comes over me in this situation. It’s embarrassing, really. I’m as anti-basketball as the the next urban intellectual. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Call in the white coats, perhaps.

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  3. I haven’t seen one game and probably won’t watch the finals unless I’m injured and unable to crawl away for the tv in the guess room…I guess I’m less of a fan than you are. 😉 Enjoyed your post about though.

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    • This comment made me laugh! The thing that is so damn weird is that I don’t consider myself that much of a fan. It’s like this other person takes over. Someone I don’t know. Think I need to seek professional advice? LOL

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  4. This is fucking hilarious, Kathy.

    Oops. Apparently reading about you cursing makes me curse, too. I apologize for my profanity-laced sentence and for offending the sensibilities of anybody whose sensibilities might have been offended.

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  5. They really burn couches? They really riot? Gosh, I’d heard rumors. And my daughter once got pepper-sprayed while in the celebrating (our mourning?) crossfire at Michigan State. I don’t understand People sometimes, do you?

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    • I didn’t see it happen myself. I only saw photos and video. But, Kathy, people can be really crazy–and here in central Kentucky, I’m afraid, they are. And, no, I don’t understand them at all. At least it’s better than in Haiti, where folks burn tires. But at least there they’re burning them in response to election fraud–not something as ultimately insignificant as basketball.

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  6. I loathe and detest basketball, Kathy! It’s the sound of those shoes squeaking on the floor that really chaps my rear…

    I also can’t understand sports-related riots. At all. When the Canucks lost the Stanley Cup to the Boston Bruins last June, I was so embarrassed for all of Canada when the fans took to the streets and ruined everything. (Thankfully, I’m not a Canucks fan so could distance myself a teensy bit from the abominable behaviour of the Nucks faithful…)

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    • Yikes. I hate that sound, as well, but I’m glad your neighbors here to the south aren’t the only maniacs in North America. I suppose what makes me feel so weird about this is my usual, not only oblivion to basketball, but general disdain for the game. I find my own response in the situation bizzarre. But let me be perfectly clear, just for the record, I was never really tempted to burn anything. I may be nuts, but I’m not a pyromaniac. LOL

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  7. The first thing I learned when we moved here to the Raleigh-Durham area 3 years ago, is that college basketball is the biggest local religion. You’re either a Duke fan or a UNC fan and if you admit to being neither (and really kind of hating basketball), people look at you like you just confessed to practicing witchcraft from your gingerbread home in the woods where you cook small children in your free time. They really don’t take it well. I saw the couch burning on the news (and an overturned car burning too I think). And I’m with you. Nothing could get me worked up enough to drag anything that heavy outside just to light in on fire. Really funny post, Kathy. Thanks for the giggles. Tori

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    • Exactly, Tori. It’s a religion here, as well–and Louisville is our biggest rival–and Rick Patino a former UK coach. But, yeah, I had heard about the car and seen a photo of that. I might have used that image, if the Lazy Boy were not such a fun metaphor for how I feel these days. L. A. Z. Y. Glad you had a good laugh!

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    • And last night, after we won the championship, things only got worse (as if this were possible). Supposedly, there were 65 fires set in Lexinton last night. I went to bed early and put in earplugs to block out the noise. Gotta love Kentucky!

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  8. No, I did not watch the game. But my father and brother watched in Louisville. And my son (a KY fan) watched from his home in P’burgh, and did my daughters in Chicago (also KY fans). We are a divided family. Sigh . . . I just stay out of the fray.

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  9. I don’t get it. Why would they set fire to things in order to claim some sort of dominance over someone else. I’m there with you. If I had to watch a game, I’d do it in a library… but I’d be off in some corner looking at a book or writing about how I just don’t get it.

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  10. Was there some sort of a basketball tournament going on? 😉

    Nope. Didn’t watch.

    Clearly, you’re not invested in the game at all, nor your alma mater. Good thing you don’t get too worked up over such things. Otherwise, you might find your furniture in short supply!

    (Lucy makes a very cute “Thing”!)

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      • That is very insane and yes I d be scared if they were doing this in my part of the world .. although there are a few notorious inner city suburbs of Sydney that are always in the news for rioting .. somehow I think it has more to do with their criminal activities 😉 But no we don’t have so called normal decent uni or college students behaving like this .. Thank god ! I hope you are safe where you are !
        Xx Kel

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  11. LOL! Great post, Kathy. I did not watch, but did see on the news about how the people of your lovely town were burning their furniture. Have they been taking lessons from the crazies at Ohio State? 😉

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    • YOu know, my grandmother taught me to knit as a child, but I’ve forgotten how and have always wanted to learn again. However, I can’t stand to watch TV at all, if I’m not doing something else at the same time. Have to keep my hands occupied. Thanks for reading. Great to see you this evening!

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  12. Hmmm… must be a parallel universe I hadn’t heard of, and thankfully, haven’t encountered in person!

    I enjoy a series of historical novels set in first century Roman Empire. The author began life as an academician and knows her history. Startling bits that she throws in are the descriptions of events at the Colosseum–same oddball behaviors except it’s cheering for lions to tear apart criminals or rooting for a chariot team.

    Why would anyone burn furniture over a ball game? Maybe it’s manly-man because sofas tend to be heavy and would require manly grunts to get ’em out of the room and onto the street.

    Then, old sensitive me, thinks about the folks who can’t afford to buy a sofa, yet here is a group destroying one for kicks.

    Hi Kathy!

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    • I know. It’s a strange phenomenon. What can I say? We live in Kentucky. At least they’re not burning tires, as folks were when rioting in Haiti. Also, your book sounds interesting–though I might feel a little weird cheering for lions to rip the Christians limb for limb Hope you are having a lovely weekend.

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      • The good news is that it was early days yet for destroying the new Christians, so she describes criminals of various types getting torn apart!

        The author is Lindsey Davis, who writes the Marcus Didius Falco series. Charming heroes and lots of humor!

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  13. Well Kathy what strange folks! Personally I have never felt very passionate about sport although I can get a little tears watching figure skating, such grace and strength. Football /soccer is the thing here that gets everyone Neanderthal but they don’t burn furniture , our hooligans just beat each other to a pulp.
    I suppose I should really try to stir up some sporting spirit soon as the Olympics start here in 106 days, the new stadiums look amazing! But I dont really get it. Perhaps I will a bit nearer the time when hopefully the grey skies and drizzle that we are currently enjoying will give way to sunshine and as we are only 40minutes from London the vibe will spread out across the nation and I will ask mr Owens to lug the sofa out into the street so I can partake in some ritualistic bonfiring, the like of which we usually save for November 5th.
    Like lahgitana I also have been reading about Romans, http://www.penguin.co.uk/UKExtract/0,,MTc4NzkwNyUzQTAlM0FSdXNvK2FuZCt0aGUrRGlzYXBwZWFyaW5nK0RhbmNpbmcrR2lybHM=,00.html Ruso and the disappearing dancing girls is a great read. R S Downie laces a murder mystery with wry humour so well I can’t wait for the next one in the series.

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    • How great to hear from you this morning. Yes, we are a weird people here in Kentucky. In all honesty, I can’t imagine participating in these burning rituals, but I guess it takes all kinds, right? I’m just not crazy about sports–though I would enjoy the activity of London in the coming months. How fun it would be to live so close. We thought for months earlier this year that my partner Sara might take a job in London and we would be living there in time for the Olympics. However, the NGO decided at the last minute to hire a Brit–imigration-work permit issues. Alas.

      Thanks also for the reading recommendation. I love mysteries. Hugs——-

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    • Aggh! I couldn’t make the link work! But perhaps it led to Ruth Downie? I’m reading the 4th in the series right now. See also: Steven Saylor and Rosemary Rowe, though neither has the humor of Lindsey Davis or Downie. Oh, then there’s Simon Scarrow, whose heroes are Roman army types!

      If you know of others I’d really like to know.

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