I have amazing office-mates!  When I arrived at school this morning, a large bouquet of balloons and flowers were waiting on my desk.  Shortly after that these wonderful women began arriving with dozens of donuts from Spaldings and various sorts of surprises that made my day special.  It all culminated in the afternoon awards ceremony attended by my mother, sister, students, and John Shawcross, who chaired my graduate committee more than 20 years ago.  It was a wonderful way to celebrate a very special semester.

My last day of classes are a week from tomorrow and after that only 5 more days till I leave for Vietnam.  And so much to do between now and then that I have begun struggling with anxiety in the evenings this week, afraid I suppose that I won’t get it all finished  in time–or maybe less that I won’t get it done and more that I won’t get it done well.

At any rate, I’m extremely tired this evening and want nothing more than to sleep a good long while.  If I’m more well rested, I’ll be better equipped to meet the challenges of the coming week–tend to details of  leaving that only loom larger as days till departure become fewer and fewer. 

Maybe then I’ll be less inclined to kill the over-sized canine who just ate for dinner the certificate I received during today’s award ceremony.  He only ever eats things that matter or cost lots of money–cell phones, eye glasses, Birkenstocks, teaching awards.  God, give me patience.  Of course, I’d never hurt the poor guy, but I may hate him for several hours this evening–that is until he looks at me with those sad, angel eyes begging  forgiveness.

Wow, trying to leave for Vietnam in two weeks is stressful.  It’s not that I’m concerned about my ability to get it all done–rather about getting it all done and remaining sane–or at the very least stable.  “Stable”  involves avoiding all forms of ranting and raving and foaming at the mouth in absolute and utter hysteria.  So, there you have it.  Those are my goals for the next fourteen days.  Wish me luck.

It’s been an amazing marathon!  I have been grading ten page papers like a maniac.  And I  must admit, it’s not easy getting ready to leave the country and teaching  full-time simultaneously!  However, I’m managing; I’m making it; I’m supposing I’ll survive.

So, needless to say, the intensity of my school schedule, coupled with  travel preparation, has prevented me from blogging much this week, but I am back, at least for a few minutes this evening–hoping to assure all that I am well, maintaining a maniacal schedule, but managing nonetheless.

Friday I took both dogs to be groomed, which meant cutting Lucy’s long hair for the sake of Rachel’s sanity while I’m away.  I suppose she looks okay with a shorter cut, but I must admit missing the longer look I’d worked hard to maintain for many months.  S. thinks she looks quite cute with less long locks, so I’m satisfied, I suppose.

I’ve also had to do some serious shopping in the the past week, purchasing pet supplies, as well as the clothes and toiletries I need for Vietnam.  I suspect that once I arrive there, I may collapse for several weeks from sheer exhaustion.  I wonder which will be worse–getting there or getting ready to get there?  I feel like the “Little Engine that Could”–I think I can.  I think I can.  Then finally–I done did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it’s been several days since I’ve posted.  Don’t want anyone to think I’ve fallen from the face of the earth, though that may be close to true, if I fail to get sleep sometime before the beginning of the next millennium–max!   That being said, I’ll say no more and make my merry way to the old Restonic!  Sweet dreams to my fellow  insomniacs, out there!

Except for a 2 hour nap after breakfast, I’ve been awake since the wee hours of the morning., working out, doing laundry, grading papers, running errands–all in all a good day except for my crazy, pre-Easter encounters at Wal-Mart–shoppers’ frenzied buying of chocolate bunnies and other bargains destined for baskets not only across Fayette County but also (judging from the crowds) the Commonwealth at large. 

I hopped my way out of Wal-Mart only after having purchased close to $350 worth of toiletries to  be taken  to Vietnam and countless animal essentials to be left in Lexington.  I’m trying like crazy to chip away at my “to do” list a little at a time, so I am not indeed insane the weekend before leaving.  I now have greater compassion for  my mother and the departure related tasks she’s undertaken every two months for going on 8 years–not at all easy.  Granted she’s heading to a part of the world free of squat toilets and does not leave behind a house full of animals bound to become hungry while she’s away, however, she’s got to have her own worries to contend with and unanticipated crisis to address in advance of actual disaster.

Admittedly, I should write more than the 200 words I have thus far, but I’m too tired to continue.

Oh my, I must blog!  It’s been two days of challenge, excitement, exhaustion–none of which I’ve shared.  The exciting news first, namely that I WON the Writing Program’s “Outstanding Instructor Award” and will be singing my personal hip hip hoorays all the way to Vietnam and beyond.  To say I’m pleased would be a gross understatement, as I am, in fact, fiddling on the roof and skipping in the streets–hell, I’m fiddling in the streets and skipping on the roof and the latter’s not at all easy.

I don’t know if it could get any better than this, unless, of course, S. were able to come home for the English Department Awards Ceremony on the 22nd, when I will officially be presented with the prize.  I guess this is the painful part of our lives right now–not just the separation, but  separation during times of celebration.  It sucks!  But then again, it won’t be long till I’m gone.  S. will have been away six weeks on Sunday, but I leave only three weeks from Tuesday.

However, the challenge and exhaustion I alluded to above involve an event sponsored by the Writing Program that I helped organize.  An Evening with the Mountain Keepers was a huge success last night.  Held in the Student Center Grand Ballroom, there wasn’t an empty seat in the house.  People were standing in the back and sitting in the aisles.  At one point we even had to bring out extra chairs to help accommodate the crowd.  All of this is good news, but at the same time, the event has left me with little energy today.  When I woke up this morning my feet were aching and my head was pounding.  I was miserable and thankful that the evening, though a wonderful success, was over.  Worn out as I was, I had to drag myself out of bed and into the office to pick up ten page student essays, the grading of which will “entertain” me both this weekend and next and every evening  in between,  way more  mountain than I want to keep any evening of any year.

Clearly I could be using my afternoon more productively, but instead I’ve crawled into bed to blog and nap,  nap and blog, and then do more of the same.  Not exactly what you’d call ambitious.  But then again, I figure this may be my last opportunity to do so in a while–so carpe diem in a lounge around and be lazy kind of way.  Once I collect my students’ ten page papers on Thursday, the semester will be one long marathon till the end and my departure for Vietnam four weeks from today.

Speaking of Vietnam, I should mention, it’s been decided (to use a good passive construction) that I will travel to Asia as a volunteer for S’s NGO and will be working there as a writing consultant, teaching workshops with staff whose second language is English, helping them compose written texts more proficiently in a language with which even native speakers struggle.   This will inevitably challenge my own skills as a teacher and force me to look at my own language from the perspective of non-native speakers.

However, it’s hard to believe I’ll be leaving so soon, leaving not only Lexington and my animals, but also an entire way of life grounded in comfort and convenience.  At this point it’s difficult to imagine how this will impact me, challenge me, force me to embrace perspectives different from my own, how it will require me to adjust what S. calls a world view based on  “refrigeration.”  She claims that there’s a fundamental difference between cultures for whom refrigeration is a given and those for whom it remains a luxury or is, in fact, unheard of.  The ability to preserve food affects the way people approach notions of time and plan for the future–it impacts the inclination to strategize long term.  Admittedly I’m not explaining this in the nuanced way S.would, but I think you get my overly generalized and way too  simplified point——so—— go sip a cool beverage fresh from the frig and give it some thought.  Chill with it, if you will.

My lawn mower refuses to function.    Trying to get the stubborn thing started yesterday blistered my hand in two places.  Now it looks like I’ll have to take the beast to a hardware store to be repaired.  My half mowed lawn frustrates my need for closure, as  I can’t tolerate  incomplete tasks and  feel very goal-oriented these days, wanting  to check chores off my list.  In my mind, the more tasks I can remove, the closer I am to Vietnam.

However, I won’t make it to Vietnam at all, if S. and I don’t unravel the tangle that is the visa application process.  It currently looks like I can only get a single entry tourist visa that is good for up to 30 days.  To enter the country multiple times I will have to be sponsored by an organization in Vietnam, in this case, probably S’s NGO.  I’m starting to stress about this, as I leave in less than a month–again I need closure–need to check the visa detail off my mental list and more importantly have the actual document in hand.

These visa details not withstanding, I’m becoming anxious to leave.  I want the semester to hurry and end, so I can begin this next chapter of my life.  I feel fairly impatient–hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait.  Goodness this delay is deadly.  I don’t wait well.

Yesterday I finally managed to submit my “presentation portfolio” to the Writing Program’s Award Committee.  I say “finally” because it’s been an enormous task to assemble the monster in only one week.  In the future, I think the program should let instructors know they’ve been nominated before finalists are selected, so potential recipients have more than 7 days to complete a task that, at least for me, was extremely time consuming during an already busy part of the semester  Having said all of this, however, I should mention, as well, that I’m proud of the document I produced.  Both my student letters specifically and presentation over-all seemed strong.  Now I can only sit back and wait.

In Asia S. is doing well–“irritated” with me becuase of confusion over frequent flier miles–but well, nonetheless.  She returned to Saigon from  Bangkok last night, having announced  the evening before that the area office wants to send her to Afghanistan–an idea that definitely doesn’t please me, not only because I won’t be able to go, but also because it’s  dangerous, especially for aid workers.  I’m also concerned in the here and now, because S. seems so horribly home sick.  In fact, she acts down right miserable and displaces that misery onto me.  She’s in one of those moods right now where I don’t think anything I would do could help.  I just wish she wouldn’t blame me.  I’m overwhelmed as it is with work, with going to school and tending  to the house and yard and animals on my own.

Today specifically I mowed the lawn.  Now that might for most be a chore requiring moderate effort.  However, for me it’s been a massive undertaking–first because I had to pick up all the poop in the yard and secondly because  I had to actually get to the mower, which was buried under piles of clay pots, tangles of garden hose, and mounds of furniture picked up last summer from the curb.  Finally, my most strenuous task involved stacking hundreds of bricks I had dug up several summers ago during a resurfacing of Limestone Street.  Then and only then could I begin my mowing.  However, I had to stop that prematurely, as I no longer had the upper body strength to start the mower.   I did manage to finish the section inside the back fence, so at least that portion of the yard looks decent–thank God!

At any rate, I face a long list of household chores this weekend–everything from bathing the dogs to laundry and dusting.  Sometimes keeping up with this house exhausts me, especially now that the arrival of spring has doubled the work, with the addition of outdoor to already daunting indoor tasks.  Probably, however, I should be grateful that I actually have time this weekend to do these things.  Next week I’ll be inundated with 10 page student essays to grade.

I suppose I’ll go ahead and post this, since I have not updated this blog in several days.  Sorry for the delay and sorry, as well, that this is so poorly written.  I feel dull and uninspired–all saggy in the center and wrinkled round the edges.

This has been one of those “once in a blue moon” –one of those “I’ll never forget this as long as I live,”  “it seems to good to be true” kind of days.  What happened?  Well, I can sum it all up in one word–STUDENTS–and the fact that they still amaze and dazzle and humble me–still bring me to tears–to my knees–bring me to my senses and then some.

Basically, it all  boils down to my having received letters from three students wanting to champion my cause to the Writing Program’s ” Award Selection Committee”–three students who make the most stunningly beautiful comments about my teaching.  As I said in an email to Rachel this afternoon, the letters describe me as the kind of teacher I have always wanted to be but never dreamed I could be.

So to those of you who wrote those letters–THANK YOU–from the deepest place inside of me, from the bottom of my heart, from the center of my soul, from the still small point of my turning world–I THANK YOU!